In our nearly seven years as homeowners, my wife and I have had to deal with a lot of problems — broken garage doors, rodents in the attic, a hail-damaged roof and a stuck front door, to name a few.
But until last week, we never had to deal with frogs.
That’s right. Frogs.
Last Wednesday, my wife and I were watching TV in the den when the croaking started. It was so loud we could hear it over the TV and our home’s air-conditioning unit.
Since we live near a large pasture, we figured the recent storms had brought out a bunch of frogs across the street, and that’s what we were hearing.
But as we stepped into the living room, the sound grew louder. That’s when we realized the little croakers weren’t in the pasture but were on our back patio.
By the time we made our way to the kitchen, the sound was almost deafening. After waiting a few minutes, we realized they weren’t going to stop anytime soon.
I went out on the patio — which had a small pool of standing water in the corner from a recent rain — and saw a little frog sitting there with his throat all puffed out, croaking to beat the band. Another one was poking his head above the grass on the far side.
But an even larger and louder frog was sitting right next to our bedroom’s sliding patio door. We knew we were in for a sleepless night if we couldn’t convince him to move on.
I stood over him for a while, telling him to scram and waving my hands in front of him. That only made him edge closer to the wall.
A couple of minutes later, he started croaking again, even louder this time.
I had to get him out of there.
I finally managed to coax the frog out away from the wall, but then he started heading back toward the bedroom’s sliding door.
I knew what I had to do.
I reached down and grabbed him between hops. He started kicking and squirming, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold on to the slimy little guy for long. So I tossed him underhand about 15 feet out onto the grass beyond the patio.
Well, that shut him up — for about five minutes.
It took about that long for him and his buddies to start in on another full-throated chorus.
By now, it was nearly midnight and we really needed to go to bed.
Even though we turned on some music and a tower fan, we could still hear our amphibious trio trolling for dates in the darkness.
Somehow, we managed to sleep through the cacophony, and in the morning, they were gone.
It’s been about a week since the little croakers decided to have their singles bash in our patio area. Maybe they struck out with the ladies that night, or perhaps they were a little miffed that I was a less than welcoming host, but the frogs have not returned.
I have to admit, I liked having them around — in principle, anyway.
They are kind of cute, and listening to them take turns croaking away was pretty funny. Even though my wife and I grew increasingly exasperated as they droned on and on, we were also somewhat amused.
So for now, life has returned to normal at the Miller household — except for that incident a couple of nights later when we lost power during a thunderstorm and had to stumble around in the dark for several hours.
You never know how much you depend on electric lights until you have to find your way around the house with a flashlight or cellphone.
But that’s another story.
Anyway, the frogs are gone for now, and our patio has gone back to being just a boring old patio.
But for one night, it was really hopping.
Dave Miller is deputy managing editor of the Killeen Daily Herald and editor of the Harker Heights Herald. Contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org or 254-501-7543.