Recently, I decided to upgrade my television viewing habits with new TV sets — a small one in the guest bedroom and a larger one for the living room.
I wanted to replace the Craigslist 25-inch TV I bought for $35 seven years ago. Even though it worked fine, it also had a picture tube that weighed as much as the Titanic in dry dock.
It was time.
But unlike many viewers, I believe a TV should not hang on the wall. Photos and artwork go on the wall, like a paint-by-number kit of dogs playing poker.
A TV set belongs perched on a table.
After moving the old set to the curb, which involved wearing a back brace and hauling it on a makeshift dolly, it was snatched up in less than one hour.
Then, I happily went TV shopping.
Browsing through the electronics section of several local stores felt like walking on the moon.
Flat-screen, LG and plasma sets everywhere. Plasma? Isn’t that the body fluid you donate at a blood bank?
The sizes of the screens were equally unreal. A 50-inch was the most common size with larger sets, 60 inches and up to 75 inches.
True, I wanted a larger television, but not one so big it makes a stadium scoreboard jealous. Watching the demo model was like sitting on the front row at the movies.
My eyes watered when a life-size police car chased a life-size bad guy’s car across the screen.
My new rule is a TV screen should not be bigger than you. Take your height and divide by two, and that should be the right size of your TV.
That means unless you are 8 feet, 4 inches tall, or 100 inches, you shouldn’t buy a 50-inch TV. Just saying. So, I bought a 32-inch TV to put in the living room.
Finding a small TV for the guest bedroom proved a real challenge since small doesn’t seem to exist anymore. I may be the last person on Earth who owns a pee-wee 19-inch set.
The sales clerk found one in the stock room left over from Christmas. Plus, these sets came with lots of speakers, front speakers, rear speakers, rattle-the-windows speakers and shake-the-roof-tiles-loose speakers.
The great benefit to my new TVs is the weight. Each one weighs less than a Big Mac with bacon and cheese. But the amazing part is the picture clarity.
Oh, my Lord! I had no idea what I was missing watching last century’s set.
There is no telling what future a TV may look like, or how life will look projected on them.
For now, I’m happy watching someone with foot-long wrinkles and hearing the cars roar at the sound of a sonic boom in my living room.
God bless television.