• October 21, 2014

In the end, differences don’t matter

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Posted: Friday, August 16, 2013 4:30 am

Once upon a time, there was a girl who fell in love with a boy from a faraway country. It all seemed romantic and easy. Then the boy was called away to duty by green-dressed knights and had to leave the girl behind with their child.

Years went by and they could not find each other anymore so the girl got married but soon discovered soon that the person was, in truth, an evil troll

So she ran away and with help from angels found her true love again. They were married and lived happily ever after.

There is a reason why fairytales and Hollywood movies end at this point: after the “I dos” comes reality.

Once the honeymoon is over, there are the worries about money, the children, the house, the job. There are the nights you are too tired to even say good night.

Also, my husband and I have cultural differences. Europeans and Americans are different in their beliefs and the way things are done.

For instance, I would have no issues sunbathing topless in our backyard; a seamless tan is a nice thing to have. My husband would probably suffer a minor stroke if he caught me doing that.

There are differences in how holidays are observed and there are differences in how children are raised. There is even a difference in how to use your silverware during dinner. As the years have gone by, things have gotten a little easier due to my husband living in Germany a long time so he was a bit “Europeanized.”

Gender differences

There are gender differences. My husband is one of the toughest guys I know. He feels no pain. He operates under the motto “me Tarzan – me tough.”

A couple of months ago he broke his thumb. Just by looking at it, I knew he had broken it. But he never went to the doctor. As a result, the thumb is not really straight now. His answer: It’s only a thumb. Big eye roll on my part.

But I am lucky. Despite all the male toughness, he knows how to use an iron and mop the floor. But when I watch him mop, I go crazy.

For example, he doesn’t clean under the side tables in the living room.

His answer: “It will get dirty again anyway.” Really Sherlock? If I were to apply that logic, then why clean at all? Even bigger eye roll on my part.

My husband is incapable of understanding female emotions. They are very foreign and exotic to him.

He decided a long time ago that he would not even attempt to try and understand a female, and that seems to work well for him. At times it feels like he is a bull in a china shop when it comes to my and our daughter’s “female” emotions.

Most ladies will agree, men don’t reach maturity until their late 30s or early 40s. My husband is now 43 and finally an adult, so I am going to enjoy the fruits of my suffering.

We’ve had our ups and we’ve had our downs. To be honest, we’ve had downs as deep as the Grand Canyon. We had our share of fights; shoes have been thrown. But we’ve worked hard to be in a good place, so we’ve decided to say our “I dos” one more time. Not in a city hall, but in a church, before the eyes of God.

My husband might be a bull in a china shop, but at the end of the day, he is my bull, and I could not love anyone more.

When we first got married, I had a shirt made for him that says in big letters: “Alex’s Property! Trespassing is prohibited and will be severely punished!”

I still stand firmly behind those words. Maybe I will make him wear that shirt when we renew our vows.

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