• December 26, 2014

Community Voices Personality differences can cause conflict at home, work

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Posted: Friday, January 11, 2013 4:30 am

No one who knows me will ever dispute that I am a C-Yang Personality Xpression. I was born and wired that way.

C-Yang is commonly known as having the choleric personality trait. Being choleric marks an individual as an opponent to the M-Yang and S-Yang Personality Xpressions. Most of my adult life I had to deal with adversity due to my bold extroverted mannerisms. Until I became a certified personality trainer, I could not understand why I encountered personality battles among family members, friends and foes.

The C-Yang Xpression finds value in addressing violations of a law, rule or regulation. Conflict arises when others reject C-Yang addressing individual actions that interfere with established rules. As a junior manager, my unit excelled above all in the district within the first year due to my drive to adhere to company guidelines. So I didn’t feel a need to make any adjustments in my life — until it appeared management saw me as a major problem at work.

Another good example of the conflict different personalities experience occurred when I was in the military. A good friend, who has the M-Yang or melancholy personality trait, asked me to leave my family and move into her home to care for her young son for a few months while she deployed overseas. Single parents, especially those in the military, may struggle with leaving their child in the care of someone with a different personality.

While caring for my friend’s child, I would not allow him to talk on the phone with relatives after 9 p.m. This was where my friend and I disagreed.

As junior military officers, my friend and I enjoyed spending time together socializing and traveling across Europe. But when it came to parenting, our differences became apparent. In the end, those differences contributed to severing our friendship.

C-Yang and M-Yang personalities naturally compete as leaders. Both are wired with leadership potential and become successful when paired with a compatible companion.

Pairs of C-Yang/P-Gan and M-Yang/S-Yang are compatible companions. These pairs share values from opposite ends of the same spectrum. Friends and family members also find support and value in these combinations.

They naturally gravitate to each other through a mutual understanding of each other’s needs. They support each other’s value systems as they develop lifelong relationships.

My family members now understand that I was not wired to meet the needs of all my siblings, as my lack of sensitivity and compassion came from a difference in how I am wired.

Along that line, kids may struggle with their identities when they feel they lack family support. They may seek new friends or change their behaviors in an attempt to become accepted. Appreciating family members as they are helps repair broken relationships.

Let’s not make others responsible for determining our individual self-worth but love ourselves first as we lovingly respect our family members.

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