As we start 2018, we have a clean slate in our life and our marriage. Because of this, many people choose to make New Year’s resolutions.

I do believe setting goals and writing them down is healthy and impactful. However, in order for something new to happen in our life, we have to do something new.

Someone once said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results.

As we embrace 2018, let us not discard the lessons of 2017. Perhaps some were hard, but there is always something good in hard lessons. Sometimes we just have to find the good.

I have put together some questions for you and your spouse to examine together. This activity will intertwine your hearts as well as help you reflect on the previous year.

As you reflect on 2017, you will have an increased clarity in ideas, behaviors and associations to change this year. You may want to save these questions and repeat this activity annually.

Ask each other these questions. As your spouse answers them, guard your heart against judgment. While you may not agree with their answers, this is their perception and their perception is their reality.

My grandmother once told me, “Kindra, the fastest way to get someone to stop talking is to act displeased or disgusted.” Take her age-old wisdom and apply it here!

1. What was the best thing that happened to you in 2017?

2. If you could go back to the beginning of last year and give yourself one piece of advice, what would it be?

3. What was your greatest accomplishment last year?

4. What do you wish you would have done differently?

5. Who was the most influential to you last year?

6. What was the scariest thing you did last year?

7. What was the bravest thing you did last year? Why was it brave?

8. What are three new things you would like to try this year?

9. What do you need to change or do to make this happen?

10. On Dec. 31, 2018, what is the one thing you want to look back at and be glad you did this year?

As you and your spouse answer these questions, it would be helpful to write down your answers. Also, feel free to come up with and ask your own questions if you have any.

Remember, last year is gone. That chapter is over. You have a brand new year, but your goals will only be accomplished one day at a time.

Live each day to its fullest. Forgive your spouse daily.

Life visits everyone, but so does death.

Live with no regrets. Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

I’m rooting for you and your marriage.

Until next time, think and dream big!

Kindra Warner is a marriage group facilitator at Grace Christian Center in Killeen and a Herald correspondent.

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